I'm dating Nolan who until recently has had a great relationship. I just feel like sometimes he shuts me out and doesn't really care even if he says that he does but just struggles to show it like he used to. It hurts me to look at happy couples like my friend Emily and Roy because that used to be us. I really am hoping that everything works out but I just have my doubts right now. But doesn't everyone have bad times? or is this not normal? I have had extreme trust issues since hes broken it multiple times and haven't truly been happy since December. Like I have happy times but TRULY happy since last December. His parents I feel like are sick of me and I'm sick of eating nothing but junk food at random times in the night. It's just not me. I feel so overweight and feel guilty about it. I moved to his house this summer to fulfill an internship in optometry which is what I wanted to do for years. I realized this summer it is not what I truly want to do. Certain things interest me, but I just don't feel passionate about it enough to go through another 4 years of school and more student loans. I feel like I am letting everyone down except for my mom who has wanted me to be a nurse since I was younger. I don't really know what I am going to do about everything but that's what life is right? a roller coaster of emotions and ups and downs but in the end God has a plan for us all. That is another goal of mine, to go back to church. I need the feeling.
I'm also taking an online organic chemistry class this summer. It is stressing me out to the max. I feel like I am not retaining any information and the final is worth 60% of the final grade. I just cross my fingers that I get a good enough grade to graduate on time and to also not disappoint my parents who paid a lot of money for me to take this course. Right now my average is about a 78. YIIIIKES.
